But I hate sitting still. And I hate this silence.

Going home from work, I decided to see if Steph wanted to get her ears pierced. That she did. We, having needed time alone, caught up on the drive. I heard myself relaying countless stories of my latest distractions and giving every excuse possible for not allowing myself to really absorb everything that's happening. If I absorb then I'll have to feel. And at this point in life, I'd rather do anything than have to feel. My life on the surface is fun. It's exciting and ever-changing. Why can't I just keep going without having to deal with this? Thankfully, she told me all the things I've needed but have been avoiding to hear. I need to pull through with my initial decision to surrender and let God take me where He pleases. I need to sit still, even in the silence. I just need to trust.

So, the night is coming to a close. I just need to make a decision before I allow myself to have another incredible day tomorrow. I either move forward or keep running in place. Yes, running in place is pointless but at least I know where I'll end up. That's such a lame excuse. Tell me why it's so difficult for me to be a normal girl who enjoys having feelings and taking risks.