Choose life.

In recent days (more like lifetimes), the severity of my pride and foolishness have surfaced. I have found that in my attempts to avoid hardship, I had skirted blessings and broken the heart of the Almighty Blesser. I had chosen things false and things fleeting to pacify myself and create the illusion that I, in fact, was in control of my own life. Funny how I wasn't ever convinced that my plans would work out. I just wanted to take the gamble. And I wanted to put off doing the "right" thing.

I was going to continue in this way even after realizing how defiant I was being. I told myself that I refused to do things the difficult/proper way; that I would rather take the visible short-cuts than to have to endure the uncertainty (in terms of length AND outcome) of this journey. God spoke to me through this passage: I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live (Deuteronomy 30:19). And there, in the stillness of the guest room downstairs did I finally hear Him loud and clear. I knew in an instant that I was faced with a choice to respond with obedience or with delayed obedience, which is a fancy term for disobedience. Excuses were no longer welcome.

So, I decided to let go of my pride and my fears. I want to do things His way, though it will be probably be difficult. And even if it might almost kill me, at least I'll know I responded to God's call.