Sunday, May 16, 2010

Today I have breathed my last.

I could not have felt more raw, uncomfortable, nor blessed today. Sunday school spoke of great hope (despite mistakes and the repercussions they incur). Choir lifted my spirits. The guest preacher, Pastor Ramos, gave two sermons that hit home: choose obedience even without reward for it is the springboard to faithfulness (Tagalog service) and then the futility of a life not lived for the Lord is a shame. I, again, wanted to dig my face in the dirt today, which is a very good thing for someone like me.

Amidst all of this, God gave me the chance to speak up for the very last time. In hopes that the truth may free someone of his fear-stricken heart and release me of some guilt, I shared my heart with one whose feet would be swift to deliver the message. I waited for an inquiry and was prompt to reply. That was/is my last attempt to include myself in this process. From now on, I will remain silent. I have done my part; the good Lord will do what He wills.

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